(On the Ferry)

Sailor: You have to go downstairs now
Man, holding two bags of sick: But I’m not very well
Sailor: You’ll be just as unwell down there








Backstage – «Der Fluch des Don Quijote»






(Overheard Bhf Bern)

Mutter und Tochter vorm Haribo Laden
M: Alles nur Süsses hier, das ist nicht gesund für dich.
T: Ja, du bist auch nicht gesund für mich.






On set – «Intermission»




(Café in Unst)

Waitress 1: Put on some music will you?
Waitress 2 whispers smth inaudible to the Alexa
Waitress 1: What are you whispering to Alexa for?
Waitress 2: I don’t like talking to her
*sound from Alexa*
Waitress 2: OMG! She is whispering back!









Rehearsals – «Ernst»





(Coffeeshop in Kirkwall)


Husband: What do you want?
Wife: We’ve been together for 30 years.
Choose me a bloody cake, man!






In transit – «Palace»






(Overheard on the tram)

Boy: … what if spiders were to create us?
Mother: But we’re already created, Colin.






Backstage – Schauspielhaus Wien




(Coffeeshop in Kirkwall)

Cook: You’re tanned! Have you been in the garden or something?
Patron: Maldives
Cook: Ha! Maledives up the hill!
Patron: I’ve been to Hoy, it was bloody tropical!








On set – «Die Einzigen»






PORTFOLIO STAGE (selection)
MIT EINEM FUSS DRAUSSEN
Adaptation for the stage of Anais Meier's noveldramaturge, writer2024
DER FLUCH DES DON QUIJOTEOriginal musicalwriter, songwriter2023 DIE FAHRENDE BRÜCKE 
Original playwriter2021
ERNST
Collaborative playwriter, dramaturge2019
ENGLISH MONDAYS
Bi-monthly eventorganiser, host2015–2017

PORTFOLIO SCREEN (selection)
UNSERE KLEINE BOTSCHAFT
Sitcomstaff writer2025–
MALONEY Crime comedy seriesstaff writer2024– BEATRIX
Short filmwriter, actor2013
GOLDEN BOY Short filmwriter, director2012

IN DEVELOPMENT
CODENAME GARFIELD
Crime comedy seriesco-creator
BURNING DESIRE
Satirical seriesco-headwriter
P-26
Historical comedy seriesstaff writer
MORD IM GRANDHOTEL
Murder mystery seriesco-writer
INTERMISSION
Feature filmwriter, co-director

PORTFOLIO OTHER POSITIONS (selection)
THE ONLY ONES
Tilt Productions Zurich, SRFactor2017
SKETCHES OF LOU
2:1 Productions Zurichactor2015
LECTURER
Institut für Sprachkunst, Universität der Angewandten Künste, Vienna2025–
CAPTAIN ON MS JURA
The best summer job of all.2014–2020
Screenwriter, Playwright, Dramaturge
noemisteffen@posteo.de