(On the Ferry)
Sailor: You have to go downstairs now
Man, holding two bags of sick: But I’m not very well
Sailor: You’ll be just as unwell down there
Backstage – «Der Fluch des Don Quijote»
(Overheard Bhf Bern)
Mutter und Tochter vorm Haribo Laden
M: Alles nur Süsses hier, das ist nicht gesund für dich.
T: Ja, du bist auch nicht gesund für mich.
On set – «Intermission»
(Café in Unst)
Waitress 1: Put on some music will you?
Waitress 2 whispers smth inaudible to the Alexa
Waitress 1: What are you whispering to Alexa for?
Waitress 2: I don’t like talking to her
*sound from Alexa*
Waitress 2: OMG! She is whispering back!
Rehearsals – «Ernst»
(Coffeeshop in Kirkwall)
Husband: What do you want?
Wife: We’ve been together for 30 years.
Choose me a bloody cake, man!
In transit – «Palace»
(Overheard on the tram)
Boy: … what if spiders were to create us?
Mother: But we’re already created, Colin.
Backstage – Schauspielhaus Wien
(Coffeeshop in Kirkwall)Cook: You’re tanned! Have you been in the garden or something?
Cook: You’re tanned! Have you been in the garden or something?
Patron: Maldives
Cook: Ha! Maledives up the hill!
Patron: I’ve been to Hoy, it was bloody tropical!
On set – «Die Einzigen»
PORTFOLIO STAGE (selection)
MIT EINEM FUSS DRAUSSEN
Adaptation for the stage of Anais Meier's novel | Neues Theater Dornach | dramaturge, writer | 2024
DER FLUCH DES DON QUIJOTE
Original musical | Neues Theater Dornach | writer, songwriter | 2023
DIE FAHRENDE BRÜCKE
Original play | Neues Theater Dornach | writer | 2021
ERNST
Collaborative play | BONZO Collective Berne | writer, dramaturge | 2019
ENGLISH MONDAYS
Bi-monthly event | Schauspielhaus Vienna | organiser, host | 2015–17
PORTFOLIO SCREEN (selection)
UNSERE KLEINE BOTSCHAFT
Sitcom | Fidelio Films | staff writer | 2025–
MALONEY
Crime comedy series | C-Films Zurich | staff writer | 2024–
BEATRIX
Short film | Cineworx Basel | writer, actor | 2013
GOLDEN BOY
Short film | ZhdK Zurich | writer, director | 2012
IN DEVELOPMENT
CODENAME GARFIELD
Crime comedy series | co-creator
BURNING DESIRE
Satirical series | Catpics Zurich | co-headwriter
P-26
Historical comedy series | Filmgerberei Zurich | staff writer
MORD IM GRANDHOTEL
Murder mystery series | Turnus Film & Moovie | co-writer
INTERMISSION
Feature film | Lomotion Bern | writer, co-director
PORTFOLIO OTHER POSITIONS (selection)
THE ONLY ONES
Tilt Productions Zurich, SRF | actor | 2017
SKETCHES OF LOU
2:1 Productions Zurich | actor | 2015
LECTURER
Institut für Sprachkunst | Universität der Angewandten Künste, Vienna | 2025
CAPTAIN ON MS JURA
The best summer job of all | 2014–2020
noemisteffen@posteo.de